Ramadan, our muslim fasting month, is coming soon. Very soon. Well actually just next week. Today will be my last day to pay back my fast, before the new fasting month begins.
Anyways, back to where i am now, im sitting here at a corner watching the girls whom have just went into the deep pool. I trust Elfra in looking after her sisters.
As much as her mother, grandmother or grandfather thinks she is an irresponsible sister, i have spent two years living with them and she always look after them. Anywhere they go, she is always there for her sisters. The twins look up to very much too. Whenever we go somewhere without Elfra, they would want to call her to come as well.
I hope this bonding or whatever you call it between them will always be in them till they become adults. Help each other get through their rough childhood.
I am here for them, as i have always been the past two years. However it isn't easy to an outsider and take that role.
Anyway, i sitting here watching others kids an adults swim, all the instructors conducting their swim lessons.
It got me thinking about my life.
I'm living a life that other people want to see. I'm not living my life how i want it to be. People wants to see the happy me, the smiling me. But I'm not happy inside.
I can't do things freely as how i want to do it.
I can't hit the gym or even go out running anytime i want. And by anytime meaning even at night, without getting commented behind my back.
I can't wear whatever i want to when i go out running, or go out in general. It is a MUST for me to think of what will be said if i dressed a certain way.
I can't cook and eat anything i want. I have to be mindful of what my MIL has cooked and eat them. Otherwise, she'll be unhappy and tell all the relatives and everybody she knows about her daughter-in-law not eating her food.
And i'm not making this up. It has happened.
Okla.. I have to go for now.
=)
reemaadams
No comments:
Post a Comment